Grandparent Problems?

ok i will sum this up best as possible. we have a 2yr old and a 1 yr old both boys and between both of our parents (mine in their late 40's his in their early 50's) our kids have been watched 5 times EVER!!!! it's either me staying home or him we cant get any time together. gets more interesting... his parents are 1st time grandparents his mom was diagnosed w/ovarian cancer and is home 24/7 she sees my kids MAYBE once a week for roughly 1 hr at my home! my parents drive truck and are never home only for 2-3 days at a time, they dont take them either. we went to a very close family members wedding a few weeks ago and his mom wouldn't keep them over night and made us leave 2hrs early because the 1yr old was crying for 20 minutes (teething) when we got there he was asleep. i have no problem telling my parents how i feel but how do i deal with his? also any suggestions for sitters in the pittsburgh area?

Grandparent Problems?
ask at your local high school for kids who might be a good sitter. Or at your church or call the red Cross, they offer babysitting classes to young teens and might have a few recommendations. But contrary to some beliefs, grandparents are not required to be on call babysitters. They have their own lives too. They are your children not theirs.
Reply:Personally, I can understand but also see how it is a little selfish to demand favors from others. I try to have family watch occasionally, but know that I cannot expect them to be free babysitters for my children when I need them. Some grandparents like to be more hands-on than others, and it is just something that you have to accept.
Reply:Just tell everyone how you feel.
Reply:Is his mom going through chemo? If so you sound a little selfish. My mother in law just got done with chemo and it just about killed her. Chemo I think is actually worse than the cancer itself. She might not have the energy to keep up with 2 toddlers.
Reply:your parents are your job to talk to





his parents are his job to talk to
Reply:well i can see their points however, They raised the two of you ask them how many breaks they had? My oldest son is almost 3 and i have needed a babysitter maybe 3 times and my mom lives next door to us and usually it was a watch them for 3 hours work has me staying over kinda thing never have my kids stayed the night anywhere else, i dont think i could sleep.I dont want babysitters My mom visits during the days mainly because its convienient its a 30 second walk to my house.But i dont enjoy babysitters especially at that age.Where they are growing and developing.Cherish the time with your kids while you can later when their teenagers you wont be able to keep them they'll always ne going somewhere.
Reply:Your parents raised their children. Now it's your responsibility. Sorry, but unless someone (you, husband, kids) are hospitalized, I don't see a problem.





I can count on my fingers the number of times my grandparents watched us and in every case, it was because of an urgent situation such as my Mom being ill. My Aunt pitched in when my Mom's baby sister was killed at age 12 and she flew to AZ for the funeral.
Reply:I agree with ryans mom, also you and your husband had the kids. I have a three year old and a 4 month old and my inlaws and parents have to bribe me to let them keep my kids. I had them and i care for them. Im not trying to be mean, i definately understand that sometimes its just soo stressful and u could use a break, i just dont think u should confront the grands about thier lack of babysitting offers. Hire someone to do it for u that u TRUST! And realize that u wont get any real sleep until they're done with college, settled down with a family and working a great job they love!!! Godd luck with the search! Oh, see if there are 24 hr daycare centers in your area, all u need is their up to date shot records and u can drop them off and go to dinner and a movie or whatever u wanna do!
Reply:from a grandparents point of view--I love my grandchildren and I occassionially watch them--cancer is extremely energy draining and it takes a long, long time to get it back. Truck driving is an energy training job. That being said--most grandparents I know do not feel obligated to babysit for free. They feel the child decided to have children and raise them then they can either find and pay a babysitter or stay home. They are not obligated to babysit when you want them to. At that age, toddlers take tons of energy.
Reply:When I lived in my hometown, my sister and I both had kids at the same time, and they were close in age. If one couple wanted a date, the other one would take the kids, and then we would switch. We never paid each other, but it was pretty equal with babysitting duties. Because I have moved if I have anybody watch the kids (either in or out of the family), I pay them. It's not there kids, so they should be given something for their time and trouble.
Reply:Personally let me tell you that your's %26amp; his parents are just GRANDPARENTS not babysitters.. Now if they don;t have any other kids at home it is normal that they would like to spend time on their own.. Now if it will be an emergency then I don't think they will say no... BUt goin to a party you as a mother will need to know what to take so your kids can be ok too.. Some grandparents do love to have their kids at home like my parents if it where for them they will keep them all weekend, but I want to see them to .. Hubby and I work full time so weekends are our family time..In the other hand my motherinlaw will not take care of them just because it has to be a real emergency or important event where kids can not attend... So Just talk to your mom that you wishe for her to spend a little more time with your kids and if it is possible to take care of your little ones once a month so you can have a fun time alone with hubby.. Hopefully she will say yes.. Best wishes!!
Reply:I'd back off of thinking that you can depend upon either set of parents for free babysitting. They could possibly be resentful or feel that they would be taken advantage of.





As a parent myself, I am enjoying the freedom of no kids in the house, but I do take care of my grandson when my daughter visits so she can have alone time with her partner.





Illness of your in-laws should be respected. Quiet time is in order for healing and recovery, not chasing children around when you don't feel well or have the energy to do so. Especially one and two year old boys.





Your parents obviously enjoy the quiet of being off the road for those precious few days they have not working.





It might be a good idea to hire a babysitter who you trust. Find someone who is bonded, if you go through an agency. It might be helpful to also let a babysitter know that you have video surveillance (even though you don't) in your home to thwart abuse.





You can join a mother's group that has a mother's day out, which then some of the group watch the children as a play group for a few hours once a month. Then privately, you can switch with another mom who enjoys your children and you enjoy hers and everyone gets along. Keep it even and switch off.





Good luck and have fun with your little ones. They will be in school in no time.
Reply:It sounds awfully selfish to expect someone to babysit your kids, especially when one of the designated babysitters has cancer. They are your children, not your parents' or your in - laws'. You chose to have them, and you are responsible for them. Sure, my dear MIL babysits every now and then. But it's only when she offers. If she can't (or won't), I respect that. It's my husband's and my responsibility to care for our son, and no one else's.


Babysitters usually aren't free. Look into babysitters in your area (through craigslist, for example) and hire someone.
Reply:Dear Nicole,





Two babies, that close together, are a challenge! I was in your situation 30 years ago. Early on, I had 2 grannies who were great help. Unfortunately, both died soon after my second was born.





Since you have no help from your parents, I would advise doing as we did...we just stayed home for the first 6 years of their lives.





Neither of us trusted babysitters -- the one time I left the kids with a babysitter, I came home to find she was feeding both children (1 1/2 %26amp; 6mo.) very spicy shrimp sauce, which was in a baby food jar in the refrigerator!





After that, we just stayed home. One or the other would go out to shop, etc.





We survived, %26amp; now I spend as much time as possible with my 2 gradndaughters -- 10 months apart in age.





I wish I could give you a better answer.
Reply:invite them over to your home more often.
Reply:It is not up to Grandparents to be an on call babysitter, we have raised our kids and should be able to call at our connivance to visit the kids or keep them overnight. An emergency is a different story, but for the parents to get a break no, only if we want to. To many young people use emotional blackmail where Grandparents are concerned.