Having a baby because of the possibility of cancer.?

I've got a friend that was 26 years old, never been married, no kids and found out she had ovarian cancer. She decided after many weeks of thought to go out with a guy and get pregnant before she had her ovaries removed. She opted not to tell the guy what her motives were. She got pregnant and had a wonderful baby. She never told the guy about the baby, and doesn't ever plan too. I personally feel she was wrong doing this--seems selfish; just wondering how other people feel about this?

Having a baby because of the possibility of cancer.?
I don't think she was selfish, everyday women have sex with strangers to get pregnant, this guy may not even want kids so it doesn't hurt that he don't know about it.


I'd do the same if I was in her postition.
Reply:I think that it is her life and if this is what she wants to do, then it's what she has to live with. Personally I could never do that. I would have waited for Mr. Right and adopted a child if I really wanted one. I really believe she should have told him and on that part, deffinately selfish.
Reply:if she never told him and doesnt plan to and really wanted a baby from her womb AND can raise a child knowing that she will do it on her own, then how exactly is it selfish? it may be weird to me and you as a concept, but we are not in that situation and even if we were we'd have different points of iew. it's a pretty ballsy thing to do and i give her credit for being willing to do it on her own. besides it's not like men really care about their little "fallen" spermies much now do they? so long as nobody claims them....
Reply:I can understand her desire to be a mother but i personally would not do that to a child let alone a poor guy who became a father and does not know.





I would worry more about the cancer coming back and this poor child becoming an orphan...the child would then be left alone i this world with no mother or father....i hope this never happens...





but this guy was used to create a baby and to me it is wrong...he deserves to know that he is a father
Reply:I know this may sound harsh, but it was her decision, and not your buisness. I know its hard to judge, but when youve never been there, its hard to understand.





My sister did this, she fell pregnant and had a wonderful baby to her boyfriend many years ago, then a week before her babies 1st birthday, my neice died. her boyfriend and her split and a year later she decided she wanted another one, but she had no boyfriend so she went out, and found a cute guy, and got pregnant with him. now she has an incredibly cute son. whom wouldnt be here at all if she didnt do what she did.





I thought it was wrong for her to do that, becuase I was worried about her catching an STD (or worse) and I will admit in some ways, I think he deserves to know his dad.





but I do have to wonder in this situation.. what is happening with the cancer? does she still have it? is she still fighting it? if theres a possibility she could leave him an orphan then that is a different subject.





Whats done is done now, you should just not worry about it anymore. and be a supportive friend and "aunt"





For the record, Its not all her fault. the guy couldve protected himself too.... it takes two to tango.
Reply:i dont blame her. You dont know how scary it can be to be told you will never be able to have a baby. I dont blame her for not telling obviously it was a one night stand. Thats one reason I got pregnant so young. My mom had ovarian cancer at 30 and had to have everything removed. With her having it it increased my chances of one day developing it by 50%. I didnt want something like that to happen and not be able to have a baby of my own.