Why do family matters have to hurt?

In the past I've always been there for all my family. When my Mother fell sick with Ovarian Cancer, I stayed with her, held her hand until she past. My father fell sick with a stroke, I have been by his side up to now. I have a large family and some times they need financial favors, I give, I lend, I try to help as best I can. This weekend I needed help. I needed a favor. A few months ago I loaned a family member a large sum of money, I called and asked if he could help me out with a couple of dollars, And to forget the loan, he assured me that he would help me out. That he would call me as soon as he sent the money. He has never called, wont answer my calls. Because I relied on him it really set me back. I feel so hurt, as my whole family has used me in one way or another. This is the first time I have ever asked for a favor, I called the whole family and no one would answer my call. Why do I feel so hurt? I raised the money my self, without their help. How would you fee

Why do family matters have to hurt?
you are a good person, who no matter what loves their family. sometimes tho it is even harder to say no, i can't help you right now, but sometimes you have to do it. maybe the family member who borrowed the money didn't have it either and was too embarassed to admit it. all you can do about it is take care of your father and yourself. in the end you will come out the winner because you cared and did what you could to help. yes i can see where that would hurt you, but don't let it make you bitter. as to how i would feel? probably just as hurt and unwilling to stick my neck out again for them. if you aren't there for them the next time, maybe they will learn to care about how you feel. i don't know if any of this will help, but i do wish you luck and happiness.
Reply:You can only be emotionally hurt by the things you care about
Reply:i feel sorry for you, sometimes family think that you owe them something, or that because you are family they can ask a favor or to do something for them and that it should be alright....that they wont answer your call only tells me that they used you.... when they needed you there, you where there for them and now they turned their backs on you? maybe if you wrote them off and tried to get on with your life, you could find some comfort in that at least you where doing everything you could and you can hold your head high and say to heck with them, i know they are family, but sometimes just backing away will save you a lot of heartache and trouble in the long run....and for them not helping you in your time of need only goes to show you how they feel about you and your troubles, i guess i really feel sorry for them... their loss......
Reply:Well, let me tell U it's just life, life is like that, sometimes we don't get what we expect from our family, those who we really love and we help with our heart.


I have this theory and it has worked for me since a long time ago:


Every time I help someone of my family or maybe a friend of mine, I don't expect anything from this person, and I only think that in the future I would need something from this person and he/she probably wouldn't be there for me and wouldn't help me or support me the way I need, so, I've just realized that when I need something, whatever it is I get it from another person, maybe from someone who I never helped before, someone who is not my friend, maybe this person will never be there anymore, but he/she helps me in a very bad moment.


What's my point: Do what U feel U have to do, no matter if these persons will be there for U, I assure U, when U need someone U'll find that someone, no need to receive something from the people U have helped, I believe in God, I believe He knows how to be there for us, and when we need something or someone He send us an angel to help us and to be supportive with us just the way we have been to other people when they have needed us.
Reply:there is a saying "you can choose your friends but not your family"


i always find that i can rely MORE on my friends than my family, no matter what the issue is! be it big or small, families are a very complex thing, i understand how let down and hurt you feel as i have had the same in the past, i have learnt my lesson and will never ever rely on my family again! be proud of yourself that you have conquered a problem WITHOUT their help.
Reply:I had an Aunt that was like that. She has passed on, rest her soul. She was a big hearted woman but she was not a quiet woman. She was always telling everyone what she done for this one or that one, throwing it in their face every chance she got. She only HELPED any one person once. Because She "blew her own horn" to EVERYONE. I'm not trying to say you are like my Aunt, I don't know you, it was just an example of why some family members would not respond to her cries for help. Then there are the ones who are just down right ungrateful and take advantage of a Good Heart.